Masaya akong makakasabi na mayroong panahon akong lumaki sa aking buhay na wala pa, o hindi pa masyadong popular ang Facebook. Noong panahon na strikto pa ang panuntunan hinggil pagiging miyembro ng Facebook, ang mga bata, noong mga oras na hindi sila’y nag-aaral, ay karaniwang nagsusulat tungkol sa kanilang mga damdamin sa pamamagitan ng talaarawan o dyornal. Paminsan-minsan, pinapasulat pa nila ang kanilang mga kaibigan sa kanilang mga talaarawan dahil ito ay paraan upang panatilihin ang mga alaala. Ipinasulat lamang ang mga bagay na gusto nilang matandaan. Ginamit ang pagsulat sa mga kwaderno ng iba bilang pakikipagkapwa; upang matuto tungkol sa kaisipan ng iba. Dahil ginawa ng isa, ginawa ng lahat. Ngunit mayroong mga estudyanteng namamahalan sa pagbili ng sarili nilang Slambook, sila nalang ay gumawa nalang ng kanilang sariling Slambook gamit ng papel, pangsulat, at pangdikit. Pina-paraan ito ng lahat.
Mayroong partikular na tawag dito, at ito ay ang Slambook. Ano ang Slambook?
Bago ang Facebook, may Slambook.
Ang Slambook ay nagsasama-sama ng konsepto ng isang dyornal at pagpasa ng mag tala. [1] Mayroong iba’t ibang mga uri ng Slambook, at karaniwan ang may-ari ng kwaderno ay siyang magtatanong ng kahit anong gusto niyang malaman tungkol sa kaniyang mga kaibigan. Ang libro ay ipapasa sa iba’t ibang mga piniling kaibigan, at kanilang sasagutin ang mga tanong. Ang mga paksa ng tanong ay walang tiyak na layunin, at maaari maging tungkol sa anumang bagay sa ilalim ng araw. Maaari ito maging kasing babaw ng paboritong kulay, pagkain, gawain, numero, guro, klase. Maaari rin ang mga tanong maging kasing tindi ng mga layunin sa buhay, ang nagpapatibok ng puso, pinakakinatatakutan ng tao, at iba pa. Dito malalaman ng may-ari ng libro ang mga kaugaliang pangkaraniwan o pangmadla, o kaniyang maipagtanto ang mga aspeto na nagpapa-iba sa kanya. [2]
[3] ^Ito ang url upang makita ang itsura ng Slambook noong ’80s.
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Ito naman ang Slambook ko, na aking binili sa Scholastic Book Fair noong 2009. Binili ko ito dahil nakita ko na binili rin ng aking mga kaklase – nakisama lang ako sa uso. Tuwing aming recess, ito ang paboritong gawain ng klase namin, babae o lalaki. Mapapansin na ito ang mas modernong bersyon ng Slambook kapag inihambing ito sa bersyong 80’s. Para sa ilan sa mga tanong, mayroong mga pagpipiliang sagot.
Paano ihahambing ang pagsla-slambook sa pagfa-facebook?
Una, ang presentasyon – Nagpapakita ang Slambook ng personal na estilo ng may-ari habang ang hitsura naman ng Facebook ay mas panlahat.
Pangalawa, ang kasarian – Higit na popular sa mga batang babae kaysa sa mga lalaki kung saan ang Facebook ay popular sa lahat ng kasarian.
Pangatlo, ang edad – Kung iisipin na ang Slambook at ang Facebook ay umiral sa parehong panahon, pagdating sa Slambook, ang hanay ng edad na gumagamit ay 9-17 taong gulang, habang ang gumagamit ng Facebook ay sumasamo sa masmalawak na hanay ng edad.
Pangapat, ang paggamit – Sa paggawa ng Slambook, kailangan ng papel at pansulat habang maaring buksan ang Facebook sa pagitan ng lugar na may WiFi gamit ang cellphone, tablet, o computer.
Panglima, ang relasyon ng kaibigan – Ang Slambook ay nag-aalok ng mas personal na relasyon sa mag kaibigan na gumagamit dahil mahirap makipag-usap sa isang estrangherong magkaroon ng ilang minuto upang sagutin ang mga tanong. Sa Facebook, ang mga estranghero o hindi masyadong malapit na kaibigan at mga malakit na kaibigan ay maaari mag-like ng iyong post kung nakita nila ito nakakaaliw. [4]
Ang kabalintunaan ng pag-Slambook ay ang ilusyon ng matingkad at sumasamo na kulay na parang siyang kumakatawan ng matatag na kaibigan. Ang Facebook, na walang katapusang listahan ng mga imnungkahing kaibigan, ay nagbibigay ng ilusyon na iyan ang pinaka-masayang gawain. Ngunit ang pagkarga ng personal na impormasyon ay may malaking responsibilidad. Tulad ng Facebook, mayroong mga kasong pang-aapi o pag-abuso ng nakalantad na impormasyon na nagsira ng relasyon dahil sa pag-Slambook, pero hindi ko na tatalakayin ang paksang iyan. Kahit na may paglaganap ng teknolohiya, tayo pa rin ang parehong mga tao na nais na matanggap ng iba, at ang pag-Slambook, tulad ng pag-Facebook, ay lumilikha ng ilusyon na ang pagsali rito ay nagpapatibay ng pagkakaibigan. Hindi ko napagtanto kung gaano pala ako ka desperado upang sumali. Mas masaya nga ba ako na ako’y nakaranas ng paglaki sa panahon na wala pa o hindi pa masyadong popular ang Facebook?
Gusto lang naman nating lahat tandaan ang masaya, diba?
Talababa:
[1] wikiHow Staff, “How to Make a Slam Book,” wikiHow,
[2] Gill, Mickey, Gill Cheryl. The Ultimate Coke or Pepsi. Longwood, Florida: Fine Print Publishing Company, 2009.
[3] Weitz, Elizabeth, “THE SLAM BOOK: My Generation’s Version of Facebook,” Forces of Geek,
~ Infographic on Basic Emotions ~ Anything under the sun that causes me… Anger: Racism (People assuming I have a great wall just because I have Chinese blood), Disgust: Stereotypes, Durian Fear: Rejection, Spotlight, Dogs, Losing loved ones, Getting too attached, Overthinking Happiness: Mulan the Disney movie, Fruits, Moroccan tiles, Anything Spicy, Thai Food, Milk Tea, Seafood (Galunggong), Beautiful Local Sceneries, Basketball, Potato Corner Sadness: Seeing impoverished people Surprise: That the great wall still exists among Chinese culture. What globalization?
Thursday, August 16
Second day of classes. This week has been overwhelming, and I am glad it is about to end. What is comforting me is knowing that amidst all the stress, anxiety, and chaos, there is going to be a class solely dedicated to Understanding The Self – something we all need to know more about and fully understand. Especially with the presence of social media and technology, it is so easy to get caught up in other people’s lives and be distracted, to the point that we start losing sight of our own. Today, we spent the period broken off into groups, talking about our expectations for the class. These were mine:
From this course, I want to gain perspective on how the mind really works, how it differs from person to person, and how I can use it to better myself.
I do not want to end up seeing myself and those around me in worse light.
I expect the instructor to keep an open mind.
From my classmates, I expect them to listen and keep an open mind. I will be kind.
I would like to put emphasis on my last statement, “I will be kind.” It is not that I am a mean person. Being kind is more than being civil with people. It is about empathizing, being genuine, whilst still remaining true to myself. It is not about changing someone else in my favor, but helping them see themselves in better light. That is what I want to be more of. And by understanding myself and people in general better, I hope Soc Sci will help me do this.
Thursday, September 6
Which of the two systems am I: 1 or 2?
I am definitely not the impulsive type. A huge part of me spends my time overthinking and meditating on life’s complexities. Whether it’s about what/where to eat, what to wear, or whether to take one road or the other, it takes me FOREVER to come up with a decision. This is why I would consider myself to be more of System 2 – slow, deliberate, reflective, analytical, complex, effortful, logical, doubtful, and all the other words related to this. Of all words, I would say that I am most skeptic. For some reason, I already have this preconceived notion to doubt people. Trust issues definitely come from experience. Sometimes, doubting works, it makes sense because people just are not what they put themselves out to be. Often times, however, they cloud much of my judgement to the point that I tend to overlook things too much.
The irony in overthinking is that sometimes it leads me to make impulsive actions. Because I am aware that I overthink, I put effort in trying to stop myself, too much effort, to the point that I lose myself within the proces. The paradox of over-analyzing, and stopping myself from over-analyzing, then over-analyzing again, puts too much thought into things that I end up doing the opposite, contradictory to my actual belief. This is when I cross over to System 1.
Tuesday, September 18
“I must be completely competent in everything I do. Or else I am worthless.” “It’s always my fault.”
“I’m a failure.”
“I’m worthless.”
“Why can’t I snap out of it?”
“I should not be depressed.”
Today we talked about depression. Phrases written above are phrases of thoughts that have crossed thru the minds of those who have been diagnosed as “depressed.” The thing is, these phrases are not only subjected to those with mental illnesses. In fact, at least one of those have crossed our minds at one point in time. There are times I feel like a failure, when literally, I did not do well in an exam. I feel I am worthless whenever I am not able to contribute. It is always my fault when parents get and at me for messing up. ‘I should not be crying’ is another way of telling myself I should not be depressed when something breaks my heart. A lot of the time we blame society for the standards set that we cannot meet. We pity ourselves too much to the point that it is unhealthy. We look too much on the negative when in truth, there is so much to smile about. But this does not discount our feelings. We still have the right to feel the way we want to.
Thursday, September 20
~ Integrative Paper ~
[today marks a month since Orsem]
April marked the month that Sofia Paterno begun a new chapter in her life – college. After a five month long summer break (that felt more like two) that allowed her to maximize time spent with family, binge watch on tv shows and catch up on movies, and practically do nothing but stare, the end of summer was long overdue. After finally regaining all the sleep (and sanity) high school life had deprived her of, Sofia was desperate to finally break the routine and start fresh.
After being a big fish in a small tank, it took only the first day of classes for Sofia to realize that now, she was all of a sudden a small fish in a gigantic eco-system, together with plenty other fish trying to thrive in the most diverse of ways. All Sofia wanted, was to make genuine friends, get satisfactory grades, and breeze through the four years she has yet to go through in college. She did not expect that the most challenging part yet would be the transition between highschool and college, particularly the way her grades have been unfavorably affected.
Because her parents were never really strict with grades, Sofia was never really grade conscious. For as long as she did her best in everything she did, and aimed to do a a bit better than average, Sofia would already be content. But it was failing not one, but two quizzes in a row for Theology class that changed the game and automatically triggered Sofia’s system 1 to make her feel discouraged. As soon as the quiz papers were given back, a sudden flow of heat rushed through her system as she started to perspire despite the room temperature being cool. At that pivotal moment, a plethora of emotions swept thru her. She was maddened, annoyed, and perplexed at the situation that she could not help but take it against her. Literally and figuratively, she (and her scores) have never gotten this low. What hurt most is that she knew she had studied hard enough, and was not sure if it was her tendency to overthink or if the Professor was really too difficult Thoughts such as ‘so much for a fresh start!’ and ‘can things even get better?’ stretched through her mind again and again to the point of self-doubt. Starting to question herself and her mental capacity, Sofia’s system 1 told herself that she was stupid; that literally, she was a failure.
As time went by, together with hours of overthinking later, Sofia not only encountered other friends who were feeling the same way but realized that she should not beat herself to it. Remembering a talk given during the orientation seminar by one of the prominent faculty of the Ateneo, Sofia felt better knowing that it is no surprise Ateneo will not make you feel the smartest. It was her system 2 telling her that two quizzes do not define her intelligence, much importantly, her self-worth. Also, who is she to be so grade conscious when in truth she knows that life is not all about grades – that in life, what is important is hard work, and the conscious effort to learn from mistakes.
Thursday, September 27
Today I was fortunate enough to attend a talk given by Sen. Risa Hontiveros herself, on “Embracing Self-Care for a Healthier Being.” Being an advocate of promoting mental health herself, Sen. Hontiveros spoke passionately on the topic, mentioning her contribution and authorship of the Mental Health Law or Republic Act 11036. It is one thing knowing that she and her team composed the bill, and another knowing how enthusiastic she is on the issue. Due to the time constraint affected by her busy schedule, Sen. Hontiveros was only able to dwell on the basics, raising awareness of the seriousness of the problem. Nonetheless, the short and brief talk was still able to prompt some sort of reflection and could be summarized into three learnings.
Mental illness exists and people suffering from this should not be judged.
Solution to mental illness lies on the community level. Interdependence and Reciprocity states that a person can only be understood in the context of his/her environment.
Self-care is so important as it is what makes us human. Emotional Regulation is key.
In case I forget, today I turn nineteen. There is so much pressure knowing that this is my last year turning into an age ending with “-teen.” The older I age, the more expectations I have to meet. The more I feel that I need to know myself better. Instead of abiding by the non-existent, self-proclaimed expectations, I should instead be more focused on working on myself in terms of regulating my emotions. Because apparently our hormones implode and go crazy when my behavior is not synchronized with my emotions, I should learn to be true to myself because really, it is a dangerous thing to deny how I feel. Now that i’m nineteen, I want to feel what I really want to feel. And maybe from there, I can grow.
Tuesday, October 9
I have so many reasons to feel unhappy about my current state.
Just the other night, I was scolded by my dad for coming home thirty minutes later than my curfew from a surprise party I had planned for my friend’s birthday. Despite my calmly explaining that all of this was not for me but for my friend, he was still disappointed and ended up getting personal. He expressed that he wasn’t supportive of my joining of orgs because academics should be my top priority. He told me that I have to choose my events wisely, something I have already been excessively controlling, because he definitely will not be allowing me to all. It was the look of genuine vexation on his face that really got me – something that I had not witnessed in such a long time. On the other hand, my mom is currently undergoing treatment for cancer she was just diagnosed with over the summer. At the same time, I am also trying to balance everything else – from my relatively passing academic grades, to trying to build the best of friends in college whilst balancing the relationships I have with my family and other loved ones. And it all hit me that night – where I felt I could do nothing more than cry alone in my room.
I was confronted by my dad as soon as he heard the sound of the car arriving and as I entered my room. At that moment, there was an ongoing battle among my id, ego, and superego. It was my id that caused me to feel a sudden rush of heat span through me. As much as I was trying to be strong, I could not help the tears that started pouring down my eyes. I felt anger and resentment towards the fact that this was turned into such a big deal. It was my ego that made me answer back. Not in a rude way, but it was my own instinct that made me feel the need to have to defend myself, explaining that all of this was really for my friend. I personally would have wanted to already be at home as soon as school ended. Also, I had to explain that this was not just any other event – it was a birthday, only happening once a year. It is not like I can control when she was born. My superego acting as my moral conscience is what had kept me sane, and what continues to keep me sane until today. Eventually, superego forced me to surrender, and admit my own faults, despite my id stopping me.
Thursday, October 11
The child can be likened to the id, adult to ego, and parent to superego.
This is a simpler way of referring to such complex of a concept. But today’s lecture also raised much thought and questions. For one, is there a way one can work on the id, or does it remain infantile? Two, ghosts do exist. Not in the form of mangkukulams or white ladies, but ghosts in the form of trauma that haunt us so deeply to the point that we end up imbibing with the spirit of the ghost. It makes so much sense how for example, trauma from our parents (ex. negative parenting, abuse, abandonment) turns into emotional scars and unresolved conflicts that stick with us, and later on get passed on to our own children who then suffer from their own form of trauma and abuse. It’s a cycle. But the important thing is that by being conscious that this cycle exists, it can be stopped. In relation to nature and nurture, it is like how I believe I got my intelligence from my mom (nature) but because of external factors and the plethora of distractions and reasons to do other things, I’ve learned to become lazy and procrastinate.
Tuesday, October 16
I wish that life was as easy as being blessed with the gaming syndrome everyday and every time we feel that we’ve hit our rock bottom. At first, when this was being discussed, I thought that Sir was pertaining to the gaming disorder which is basically how addiction to playing games could ruin your life. But the gaming syndrome is something rather positive – that when we lose, we get back up; because there is hope.
There are times I wish I was part of a game. Just like the characters in Wreck-It Ralph who are not afraid to die because they know they will be resurrected again anyway once another game starts, I wish that in life, we were given multiple opportunities to start over. I wish that we were not as emotionally attached to the beautiful things in life because we lose them anyway. I wish that we could fly, jump from place to place, and look as presentable as the animated characters do.
But the reality is that we only live one life. In a way, that sounds daunting, but I guess it makes us appreciate things more – letting us treasure the fleeting moments that we sadly cannot replay. Life is not a game – but we do have the option to turn it around into the fantasy we all want to end up with.
Just like game characters, we have to embrace everything happening to us because everything was meant to bring us to where we are now.
Tuesday, October 23
This has been such a stressful week. I have three papers to cram and had a math midterm today on units I last-minute tried to understand. I even cut LAS for the first time, so that I could have more time to work. I do not think I did so well on the test, but it is over. I only have to look forward and try better next time.
Today’s session in SocSci not only helped relieve my stress, but made me realize how others perceive me. Arranged in two columns made to face each other, we were each given the opportunity to discuss with one another what we think of them, our first impression of them, their good qualities and the like. To be honest, it was not as easy articulating my thoughts on the spot, especially knowing that there is so much more I could say about them if given more time. But this exercise forced us to recollect all impressions we had of a person at that moment.
It was nice to divert attention away from myself and to concentrate my mind on others. I realized that it really only does take a little to touch people and make them smile. A little kindness does go a long way, especially when you remind them of their good traits they sometimes fail to see. It was also interesting hearing other’s impressions of me. Some found me funny, some found me nice, some found me weird (in a good way), but several have also mentioned how intimidated they were from me.
But what I got out of this exercise is that although we will always be a “somebody” to other people, the goal is to be the best “somebody” we can to them. Also, people underestimate themselves too much, just like how I think I have been underestimating myself. If only people could see themselves thru each other’s eyes, maybe we would be a little more relieved.
I am still proud that I made it through the day.
Thursday, October 25
This is the first time I cut class for Soc Sci, and one of my first cuts in college. It is not that I do not respect Sir Gary’s subject. Today I cut for an important reason – my mom’s arrival together with my Uncle from the US. I haven’t seen my mom for almost a month, and because 5pm also happened to be the most convenient time for me to get picked up, I decided I was meant to skip today’s class.
And I made the right decision cutting to spend time with my family.
Tuesday, October 30
It is easy loving or banking on something that always wins. Just like how it is in sports, it becomes especially more fulfilling cheering for the UAAP Ateneo men’s basketball team because it is almost consistent that they at least make it to the top 4. Better yet, to the finals. But because we tend to associate our feelings with security, this weakens us because we do not anticipate disappointment that is for sure bound to come one way or another. Similar to how if our faith did not rest in warm, fuzzy feelings, it would be much stronger.
Our Theo 131 prof, relation to our topic on Faith, Spirituality, and the Church, mentioned that “You can’t love a person without knowing them.” That there’s more to a human than what makes them tick, and that in a relationship, we do not just seek another person’s company, but we deepen our love and understanding for another person by getting to know them and understanding them better. This relations to Sir Gary’s mentioning today of how “If you come into marriage because of a need, if something isn’t satisfied, then you leave.” We do not enter for ourselves, but we enter open heartedly that the product between two people will turn into something beautiful.
In hindsight, do not get me wrong – I do not root for the Ateneo in UAAP just because they are an amazing team. I root for them, because I know what it is to be Atenean, and I embrace it. My consistent devotion to spending weekends watching the basketball games did not necessarily involve my asking for anything in return. No matter what, whether or not I passed the ACET, my heart bleeds blue.
Tuesday, November 6
Today Sir Gary made us watch a video of Simon Sinek talking about the Millennial generation and Millennials in the Workplace. It is almost a coincidence that my mom made me watch the exact same video just a few days ago.
Born into a generation of rapid development in technology not by choice but by circumstance, technology has made life so much simpler than how my parents lived, in a sense that we are bombarded with all sorts of information, with work getting done in an instant. I heard from somewhere that our attention span is as short as 8.25 seconds (less than a goldfish). Because we are living in a world of ‘instant gratification,’ we no longer see the point in delay. We do not take time to discern, ending up with impulsive decisions. One failure greatly damages our self-esteem. And when we do not get results immediately, we lose hope.
Upon researching, I find out that human ancestors passed the process of evolution in which they emphasized the present rather than the future. This condition is called ‘future discounting’. Thus, human does not have evolutionary mechanisms for reacting to large-scale but slow-moving environmental problems, such as climate change. In addition, evolution does not make our brain sound the alarm when we are faced with the new dangers that we rarely encountered in the history of human civilization. (Juneman) While our brains have evolved over many thousands of years, our ability to plan ahead and delay short-term reward for the long-term has not kept up with the rate of climate change (and the consequent need to deal with in a fairly short time frame). This way of thinking – short-term as opposed to long term – has also been ingrained in our economy and social institutions which in turn makes it very difficult to make fundamental changes to industry. (“Climate Change and Apathy”)
As an effect of narcissistic dispositions, when problems seem too depersonalized or distant, people become inactive or apathetic. This leads to a question: can this still be corrected? We cannot stop the presence of technology, but we can stop its effects on us. It is all about shifting mindsets. Below is an excerpt from a paper I wrote for my English class on solving the narcissistic problem of this generation, completely resonating with the video:
First, it involves changing the definition of success and rewards – that they do not come instantly, and that the journey is never easy. Just because things take time to happen does not mean that they never will. This is to stretch their short-term thinking to long-term mentalities, that care for posterity. To keep our arousal in the optimal moderate range, we should define problems in terms of small wins. Small wins have immediacy, tangibility, and controllability that reverse powerlessness and apathy. (Juneman)
Second, is to instill that the solution to environmental degradation does not solely rely on a person-to-person basis, but through strengthening on a community level. It can be difficult to imagine the impact of a community when all we are concerned of is ourselves, or when politicians themselves refute sustainability to stay in power. There is no effort, because there is no collective pressure to work on things. By remembering that we are a product of evolution wherein cavemen did not just rely solely on physical strength but on coming together as a group, we realize that we are truly made to co-exist. Through cooperative harmony, we learn to be empowered and rise above problems together.
Third, in order to move forward, science communication needs to change the narrative. It needs to mitigate the connection between climate change and the individual. In order for there to be a public consensus on climate change it has to be presented in a less threatening manner. Science communication has to focus the public’s attention on what so many individuals value: efficiency, not being wasteful, innovation and moving forward. (Hall) Thus, it is important to be able to appeal the concept of sustainability in a more appealing, amicable manner.
Perhaps, if we decide to stay in a space a bit longer, to discern better, this may force us into a position that will help us thoroughly understand our decisions better. Just like how a person in the video Jaimey Hamilton Faris “Looking for Leviathans” lecture 3-24-2015 was shown entering a black space signifying a space of delay, we should allow ourselves to immerse in such spaces of nature that help us to pace ourselves in this ever changing world; to stop for a while and to think, and to ask deeper questions. While we realize that everything is interrelated, from the cosmos to what’s below us, it is a paradox of wanting to delay ourselves so as to prevent our committing of mistakes, but at the same time wanting to act upon things in order to control the spread of damage. It is the same delay will remind us of what it means to be human.
It’s scary how people put on different masks on-screen and off-screen. Compared to the ancient times wherein identity is almost entirely prescribed – a person would be born to a class, occupation, and role, nowadays, people have developed multiple identities. Because of how our field of anonymity is expanded on social media, it is almost as if we have split personalities that differ how we act in person. This leads to a disconnect between relationships, because in social media, we interact without any warmth that could not be gotten anywhere else if not through talking in person.
It is awkward constantly exchanging likes and comments with someone on social media, but when in person, we do not even dare look at each other in the eye. In fact, college is receiving several friend requests in a span of a week, but not even being able to interact with half of them in person. Our relationship is merely artificial. Or how my dad noticed that “bonding” with friends nowadays has boiled down to using our phones, together. We are physically next to each other, but we are each preoccupied doing our own things, in our own worlds.
It has come to a point where our online identity transforms our offline identity, diminishing real identity and offline sociality. Even my mom has confronted me about how after spending the day practically in bed exposed to social media, despite not exerting much physical effort, it is as if I have lost all energy to converse with my family in person over dinner. It is as if I have gotten my daily dose of socializing through scrolling through my Facebook/Instagram timeline, updating myself on people’s lives whilst not even building off on my own. I am content that way. And without me realizing it, I am becoming a robot.
Thursday, November 22
Today we had one of the most interesting Soc Sci sessions. It is a good thing I decided to go despite many of the class choosing to cut. Today, Sir Gary split us according to gender – girls and boys, and we were made to come up with questions that we would anonymously ask people from another gender to answer. This was the perfect time for us, girls, to satisfy our curiosity in what it feels like to be a guy. Funnily, majority of our questions had to do with what it felt like to have a penis and not a vagina.
Below are the questions we came up with:
If not about what it feels like having a male reproductive part, we asked about whether guys have intentions when talking to girls. Of course, the boys could not directly answer. But what struck me most was how Sir Gary explained that women have the tendency to easily put emotional attachment to things; thus explains why we tend to overthink, take everything boys do personally, and associate everything with the heart.
The boys asked us why girls end to lead guys on, whether we prefer size or performance, , whether girls care about a boy’s virginity, and a few other questions which all came out pretty silly. Moral of the story: it depends.
Tuesday, November 27
Today we discussed genders & sexualities. It is interesting knowing that the metrics is not limited to merely LGBT, but extends to LGBTIQXYZ. XYZ, connoting the continuum in terms of sex, gender expression, gender identity, secual orientation, and the infinite amount of categories people could fall into.
Non-binary, meaning gender identities not solely limited to masculine or feminine identities, with Genderqueer people expressing combinations of both in their gender expression, or neither as male or female (?); used as umbrella term encompassing many identities that do not fit into the male-female binary.
Until now, I’m still a bit confused. Both sides of my family are very traditional when it comes to their belief in genders, in a sense that none of us turned out gay (or at least we think so) But just like with genders, It’s complicated.
Thursday, November 29
Today’s class was the first free cut we’ve ever had for Soc Sci. But because I still haven’t moved on from our topic on Gender Identity, I would like to spill my thoughts:
It is so true that the difference between male speech and female speech is that male speech involves the use of swear words and slang, dominating speech, bluntness, forcefulness, demandingness, and more open displays of anger. While with female speech, there is PROPER GRAMMAR, politeness, concern for listener, talkativeness, gossip, gibberish, and talk about trivial topics. Even among my friends, the females have more concern over their grammar.
Women are truly more empathetic, while men tend to withdraw from confrontation and put feelings. While women express more emotions, men are more likely to internalize or keep their emotions inside which breaks communication and prevents empathy. Men are heartless.
While men talk about work, money, sports; women talk about people, relationships, and appearances – things that will get them going in the long run.
Now onto the controversial topics:
I did not know that men see sex as means to fulfill their satisfaction of sexual desires or purely physical release or pleasure that is unconnected to relationships. On the other hand, girls see sex and love as inextricably intertwined.
I am very against the traditional way of viewing gender roles – that the traditional man has a stronger, more powerful role in a relationship as opposed to women to are there to attend to their own appearances and the pleasure of the male.
It is disturbing knowing that the popular belief holds that sex enhances a male’s reputation while sex has a negative effect on female’s reputation. Too soon/often = sluts.
Tuesday, December 4
Today we learned about the Habitus, which according to the PowerPoint are internalized dispositions, schemas, competencies, and lifestyle preferences that generate perceptions, expectations practices that reproduce the social milieu/structures that birthed it. Our behavior can be constituted by external structures, and is adaptive to the current structures & standards of society. As we broke off into groups to discuss what our own Habitus was, I realized that regardless of my embodiment of my own social location (how I am situated in the social structure), I can belong to a different Habitus depending on the situation. For example, I am a different person when I try to be a good daughter to my parents, a good confidant to my friends, and so on. It helps that because of my curiosity, I naturally exert effort to get to know the stories of people coming from different backgrounds; especially those that believe in different religions. I realized how much external factors and the environment one grows up in shapes their mindset and outlook in life. But regardless of circumstance, whether coming from the Habitus A (Middle & Upper-class) or Habitus B (Working-class/Poor) what brings us all together as humans is our desire to be good people and the best versions of ourselves.
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